


Rogue One Network (English)

by SadieAndor



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Multi, Social Networking, Translated from French
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieAndor/pseuds/SadieAndor
Summary: In the depths of the Holonet in a galaxy far, far away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Rogue One Network](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370976) by [Astreaseria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astreaseria/pseuds/Astreaseria). 



> Hope you approve, Astreaseria!  
> I thought my French was pretty good, and then I actually tried to do translation. The story is obviously not mine, any translation errors obviously are.

**Orson Krennic** created group “Death Star.”

**Orson Krennic** added  **Galen Erso** to “Death Star.”

**Galen Erso:** No. Just no.

**_Jyn Erso_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Orson Krennic** created page “Death Star.”

**Orson Krennic** invited  **Galen Erso** to like page “Death Star.”

**_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ and _ **_Darth Vader_ ** _ liked this. _

**Galen Erso:** Stop that.

 

**Galen Erso** liked “What to do when you don’t like your job” and “Treating your depression in ten steps”

**Jyn Erso:** Dad :(

**Galen Erso:** Don’t worry, Stardust.

**K-2S0:** Would you like to know the probabilities of surviving a depression?

**Galen Erso:** ...No?

 

**K-2S0** created page “K-2S0.”

**_K-2S0_ ** _ liked “K-2S0.” _

**Cassian Andor:** Seriously?

**K-2S0:** I only want to know how many people like me.

**_Jyn Erso, Galen Erso, Bodhi Rook, Chirrut Îmwe, Baze Malbus_ ** _ and _ **_Mon Mothma_ ** _ liked “K-2S0.” _

**K-2S0:** Cassian?

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ liked “K-2S0.” _

**K-2S0:** That’s a good number.

**Bodhi Rook:** Now that I’ve liked your page, can I have my goggles back?

**Jyn Erso:** …

 

**Chirrut Îmwe** liked “The Force,” “The Jedi,” “Jedha Temple,” and “The Guardians of the Whills.”

**Cassian Andor:** Except you’re not a Jedi…

**_Baze Malbus_ ** _ liked this. _

**Baze Malbus:** If he were a Jedi, he’d be the best of them all.

**_Chirrut Îmwe, Jyn Erso, Bodhi Rook_** _and_ _1985 Alliance members liked this._

**Chirrut Îmwe:** Thank you, friend!

**Baze Malbus:** Don’t get too used to it.

 

**Baze Malbus** created page “I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”

**_Obi-Wan Kenobi, Chirrut Îmwe, Jyn Erso, Galen Erso, Cassian Andor, Bodhi Rook_ ** _ and 1991 Alliance members liked “I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.” _

 

**Wilhuff Tarkin** liked page “Orson Krennic’s Capes.”

**Orson Krennic:** What does that mean?

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Oh, nothing :)

**Orson Krennic:** Stop smiling, your muscles are physically incapable of smiling.

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** You think so? :)

**Orson Krennic:** Stop, that’s getting creepy.

**_Galen Erso_ ** _ and _ **_Leia Organa_ ** _ liked this. _

**Galen Erso:** He’s not wrong, it is creepy.

 

**Wilhuff Tarkin** liked “The Emperor” and “The Empire.”

**Cassian Andor:** And kiss-ass, too!

 

**K-2S0** liked “Orson Krennic’s Capes.”

**_Orson Krennic_ ** _ liked this. _

**Cassian Andor:** K2, stop!

 

**Cassian Andor** liked pages “U-wing” and “Jyn Erso.”

**Galen Erso:** HMM.

**Jyn Erso:** I have a page?

**K-2S0:** Of course, Cassian made it.

**_Jyn Erso, Bodhi Rook, Chirrut Îmwe, Baze Malbus, Leia Organa, Mon Mothma_ ** _ and  _ **_Bail Organa_ ** _ liked this. _

**Cassian Andor:** I didn’t think it would show up…

**Orson Krennic:** I don’t mean to meddle in this conversation, but first he liked the ship’s page and THEN Jyn’s.

**Baze Malbus:** Did anyone invite him?

**Cassian Andor:** It doesn’t mean anything!

**Galen Erso:** In any case, my daughter’s worth more than any ship. Than anyone, in fact.

**_Jyn Erso_ ** _ and  _ **_Cassian Andor_ ** _ liked this. _

**K-2S0:** Funny, that’s exactly what Cassian said just this morning when he was cleaning up the ship.

**Cassian Andor:** But… Well… That’s not… It’s taken out of context!

**_Jyn Erso_ ** _ liked this. _

**K-2S0:** Not at all, you said “Jyn is a ray of sunshine who deserves nice things and she’s worth more than any fool in this galaxy.” That’s what you said, isn’t it Cassian?

**_Jyn Erso, Bodhi Rook, Chirrut Îmwe, Baze Malbus, Leia Organa, Mon Mothma_ ** _ and  _ **_Bail Organa_ ** _ liked this  _

**Cassian Andor** has logged out.

 

**Orson Krennic** shared an article “The 10 best capes you absolutely need.”

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ liked this. _

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Humpf.

**Darth Vader:** Objection, Mr. Governor?

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Not at all, Lord Vader :)

**Orson Krennic:** Seriously, stop with the smiling, it's creepy.

 

**Darth Vader** liked “Naboo.”

**Leia Organa:** OK, you’ll have to explain this to me.

 

**Leia Organa** added friend  **Luke Skywalker**

**Darth Vader:** SKYWALKER???

**Luke Skywalker:** Like my father, a Jedi you killed.

**Darth Vader:** …

**Obi-Wan Kenobi:** And you should be ashamed, Lord Vader.

 

**Orson Krennic** read article “What to do when you’ve lost something very important.”

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Nothing work related I hope?

**Orson Krennic:** ...Absolutely not.

**_Cassian Andor, Jyn Erso, Galen Erso, Saw Gerrera, Chirrut Îmwe, Baze Malbus, Bodhi Rook, Bail Organa, Leia Organa, Mon Mothma_ ** _ and 1985 Alliance members liked this. _

 

**Orson Krennic** liked “Capes.”

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Orson Krennic** liked “How to keep white whiter than white.”

**Galen Erso:** By avoiding wading through the mud to ruin other people’s lives.

**_Jyn Erso_ ** _ liked this. _

**Orson Krennic:** …

**Galen Erso:** That’s an example.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Orson Krennic** posted on his wall “If anyone by any chance finds something really important with “CONFIDENTIAL” written on it in red, please let me know with the greatest discretion.

**Wilhuff Tarkin:**  Something like?

**Galen Erso:**  The Death Star plans?

__

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ ,  _ **_Jyn Erso_ ** _ , _ **_Galen Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Saw Guerrera_ ** _ ,  _ **_Chirrut Îmwe_ ** _ ,  _ **_Baze Malbus_ ** _ ,  _ **_Bodhi Rook_ ** _ ,  _ **_Bail Organa_ ** _ ,  _ **_Leia Organa_ ** _ ,  _ **_Mon Mothma_ ** _ and 2016 Alliance members liked this. _

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** …

**Galen Erso:** That’s an example.

* * *

 

Conversation in private group “Death Star.”

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Krennic, you lost the plans for our weapon?!

**Orson Krennic:** Lost isn’t the word I would use.

**Galen Erso:** The word he’s looking  for is “stolen.”

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** …

**_Orson Krennic_ ** _ has left the group. _

* * *

 

 

**Bodhi Rook** posted on his wall: “So where are the Death Star plans?”

**Leia Organa:** With me, don’t worry.

**Cassian Andor:** Hurry and get back, you never know!

**K-2S0:** If you’re in danger, don’t hesitate to die, it’s the plans we need.

**Leia Organa:** …

**Cassian Andor:**  K2, do you remember when we talked about how to communicate with people?

**K-2S0:** Yes, Cassian, I remember, but after a while I thought it was boring so I stopped listening.

**Jyn Erso:** What an adorable droid…

__

**_K-2S0_ ** _ liked this _

**K-2S0:** Thank you, Jyn, I agree.

 

* * *

 

**Leia Organa** is with  **Darth Vader** and  **Wilhuff Tarkin.**

**Bail Organa:** What’s happening?

**Leia Organa:** I’ve had, how to say this, a small problem, Dad.

 

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

**Baze Malbus:** We almost died for a princess with too much hair to return the stolen plans to their owners.

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

**Cassian Andor:** Is this a joke?

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

**Jyn Erso:** Stop liking all our comments, it’s annoying! 

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

**Chirrut Îmwe:** I’m sure the princess would not be so reckless. The Force is strong with her.

**_Bail Organa_ ** _ liked this. _

**Baze Malbus:** Ha. Tell the Force to bring the plans back, then.

__

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ and  _ **_K-2S0_ ** _ liked this. _

**Leia Organa:** I don’t know about being Force sensitive… But I’m not stupid, the plans aren’t with me!

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ ,  _ **_Jyn Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Galen Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Saw Guerrera_ ** _ ,  _ **_Chirrut Îmwe_ ** _ ,  _ **_Baze Malbus_ ** _ ,  _ **_Bodhi Rook_ ** _ ,  _ **_Bail Organa_ ** _ ,  _ **_Leia Organa_ ** _ ,  _ **_Mon Mothma_ ** _ and 1991 Alliance members liked this. _

 

* * *

 

**Orson Krennic is at** “Galactic Employment Center.”

 

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Jyn Erso:** Well then, did we have a bit of a problem?

 

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ ,  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ , _ **_Cassian Andor_ ** _ , _ **_Jyn Erso_ ** _ , _ **_Galen Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Saw Guerrera_ ** _ , _ **_Chirrut Îmwe_ ** _ ,  _ **_Baze Malbus_ ** _ , _ **_Bodhi Rook_ ** _ , _ **_Bail Organa_ ** _ , _ **_Leia Organa_ ** _ , _ **_Mon Mothma_ ** _ and 1963 Alliance members liked this. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** Does it pay well, to be in the Rebellion? Is there social security and health benefits?

 

**Cassian Andor:** Is he serious?

 

**Galen Erso:** The terrible thing is that yes, he’s serious.

 

**Baze Malbus:** We don’t have a great survival rate but we get patched up for free. The bunks aren’t too bad and sometimes we get two slices of pie in the canteen  instead of one.

 

**Cassian Andor:** Don’t you want him to get through a job interview while you’re at it?

 

**Orson Krennic:** I usually work Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednsedays, Fridays and Saturdays, from 8 to 7. Thursdays and Saturdays are my days off.

 

**_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Cassian Andor: …**

 

**_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Wilhuff Tarkin:** Good luck! :)

 

* * *

 

 

**Bodhi Rook** posted on his wall “Taking my x-wing license test!”

 

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ ,  _ **_Jyn Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Galen Erso_ ** _ ,  _ **_Saw Guerrera_ ** _ ,  _ **_Chirrut Îmwe_ ** _ and  _ **_Baze Malbus_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Cassian Andor:** Try not to crash, ok?

 

**K-2S0:** At least don’t crash on us.

 

* * *

 

**Bodhi Rook** posted on his wall “:(“

 

**Jyn Erso:** I’m sorry, Bodhi, you’ll do better next time. You’re a good pilot.

 

**Bodhi Rook:** Maybe it would be better if I stuck to cargo piloting…

 

**Cassian Andor:** Look on the bright side, you crashed into the ship Krennic was arriving in.

 

**Baze Malbus:** Is he dead?

 

**Galen Erso:** If only…

 

* * *

 

 

**_Jyn Erso_ ** _ sent a poke to  _ **_Cassian Andor._ **

 

* * *

 

Private conversation between  **Orson Krennic** and  **Galen Erso.**

 

**Orson Krennic:** Now we’re on the same side.

_ Read at 10:45pm. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** How’s your daughter? Ginny, right?

_ Read at 10:47pm. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** Oh no, Jyn. I was close.

_ Read at 10:49pm. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** Are you asleep?

_ Read at 10:52pm. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** These blankets are pretty uncomfortable, and my room’s a bit too small. Not to mention the cruel lack of connection to the holonet.

_ Read at 10:56pm. _

 

**Orson Krennic:** You must be really busy, you always answer me.

 

**Galen Erso:** Do you mean always when you hold me against my will on a cold wet planet to build a planet destroyer?

 

**Orson Krennic:** I knew you weren’t asleep! :)

 

* * *

 

 

**Leia Organa** is: In prison.

**_Darth Vader_ ** _ and  _ **_Wilhuff Tarkin_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**Bail Organa:** Sweetheart?

 

**Baze Malbus:** What about the plans?

 

**Leia Organa:** I’m ok, dad. And I gave to the plans to R2-D2!

 

**Baze Malbus:** A droid?

 

**_K2-S0_ ** _ liked this. _

 

**K2-S0:** Finally someone with some sense here!

 

**Leia Organa:** They’re with you-know-who. And you should get back to base quickly!

 

* * *

 

**_Cassian Andor_ ** _ sent two pokes to  _ **_Jyn Erso._ **

 

* * *

 

**Leia Organa** posted on her wall: “Saved by two idiots disguised as Strormtroopers.”

 

**_Bail Organa_ ** _ and  _ **_Mon Mothma_ ** _ liked this. _  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should have stopped and thought _have I ever used a social networking site that works this way?_ before I did this, but I think it's still ok? I don't think I'd be up for translating a full prose fic, but this was super fun. Hope you've enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you find any glaring mistakes, I've never done this before.


End file.
